Archive for the ‘crunch’ Tag

The economic downturn

Increasing finding yourself just short of a bob or two? Not got enough wonga in your back pocket to pay your prostitutes? Constantly getting into debt with your local friendly loan shark?

Ahhhh yes need I say more? These are just three of the commen symptoms that you are being hung out to dry by, in a credit crunch. When you first heard on the news that large banks had been over paying their executives to the tune of £3,000,000 minimum a pop, I’m asuming you though, “what a gready twat, oh well at least he can’t steal all my money, because fortunately I place my money in the worlds most finacially secure banks in the world… Northern Rock.” (repetition of, ‘my money’ idicates you’re a limp cambagge when it comes to erectile strength)
Well didn’t you look like a penis 3 weeks later when you lined up in que 2 miles long, piss wet through with rain as you waited to withdraw all of your savings through fear of it getting frozen as credit crunch memoribelia? You see the one main reason that we are down this shit creak without a paddle is because we were too blind, dum, or ignorant to see that spending all our cash on luxury items such as vibrating dildos, would leave us pennyless to go an buy the god dam double A batteries; appoligies for the terrible over spending example.

Of course the credit crunch has lead to slowing of stock rates causing business to loose profit, which in turn leads to job cuts and losses… well I’d say that is bloody awful! So now there are more hobo’s than there are cardboard boxes!

The worse news is, that gorvernment officials say that job loses are exptected to increase dramatically by this time next year; my responce to that is, well Mr Brown (you over paid, under shagged flid) job losses will have hopefully increased by at least one next year.