Archive for the ‘Fail’ Category

Please be redirected

please visit the mother site

MaybeSo Productions

Swine Flu

Yes swine flu, the flu of swines. Very much similar to normal flu which millions of people catch, then live, then get on with their lives; except this type of flu comes with something called, ‘the media.’ Yes people say it is almost identical but more deadly; ok so how do you work that one out then smart asre?
Right so let me get this straight, what we have here is a straign of a pig virus which has transitioned into humans and is now infecting the entire world population? Well I have a few things to say about that (as you might of imagined):
1. [possibly the one thing that nobody wants to own up to, unless you take great plesure out of beastiality] Who was the first person to have sex with a pig and also decided that whilst they were at it they might as well not use a Johnson?
2. Is this whole pandemic business just a big I am Legend rip off? I mean just how many more films are there going to be about a virus that kills all, sparing the odd imunities. Next they will be saying how there are two types of the virus; airborne and passive subjection, and that dogs are only imune to the airborne straign.
3. Oh no wait there is no 3! FAIL

Ok what I am really trying say is, if you have it, big deal, just shut your self in a room for a while and a course of antibiotics should sort you out good and proper! Above all else don’t go around blowing your own trumpet saying for example, “hey guys, you’ll never guess what the doctor diagnosed me with!”
“herpees?”
“well yes but other than that… SWINE FLU! =D”
This will only make you look like a first class dipstick, hence shush your mush; people might start to hang around with you that way! Who knows?

Chao.

Stupic comercials

Possibly one of my favourite topics to rant about is stupid fucking adverts that appear durring the middle of intense and INTERESTING programs on channels such as Dave and Sky1.
Every one knows the particular adverts I am talking about, providing you don’t have a dead squirel’s brain, they last for roughly 30 seconds tops but by the end of that brief period of time you are preparing your suicide note, ready to pop you clogs like an absolute mouthbreather.
Ok let’s not be brief here; let me set the scene… It starts like this (by the way this not some kidy fiddling, story telling agency, who has it’s name on the sex offenders register) you are watching a Top Gear repeat on Channel Dave for the 21st time and you are getting to the point where there has not been a comercial breakin 15 minutes… It is iminant… Unfortunately.
Suddenly FAIL, of the most epic variety!! You no longer see Jeremy Clarkson shoving a rench up ever orophis in James May’s body whilst Richard Hamond sit in the corner choking the chicken. Instead you find that your ear drums have shattered into tiny metaphoric fragments to the piercing sound of BARRY SCOTT. Yes here it comes, the time old rant about he must insist in giving you an earache that feels like you have just been penitrated by a horse… Beastialty style ( (conicidently never search that in google unless you have a bucket to the side of you!) sick shizem). If I wanted my eardrums bursting then I would jump in a fucking bush.
Just shut the fuck up you loud mouthed twat, if I want a spray that could clean my arse without using crap role, then I would just get your mum to give a lick!