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The economic downturn

Increasing finding yourself just short of a bob or two? Not got enough wonga in your back pocket to pay your prostitutes? Constantly getting into debt with your local friendly loan shark?

Ahhhh yes need I say more? These are just three of the commen symptoms that you are being hung out to dry by, in a credit crunch. When you first heard on the news that large banks had been over paying their executives to the tune of £3,000,000 minimum a pop, I’m asuming you though, “what a gready twat, oh well at least he can’t steal all my money, because fortunately I place my money in the worlds most finacially secure banks in the world… Northern Rock.” (repetition of, ‘my money’ idicates you’re a limp cambagge when it comes to erectile strength)
Well didn’t you look like a penis 3 weeks later when you lined up in que 2 miles long, piss wet through with rain as you waited to withdraw all of your savings through fear of it getting frozen as credit crunch memoribelia? You see the one main reason that we are down this shit creak without a paddle is because we were too blind, dum, or ignorant to see that spending all our cash on luxury items such as vibrating dildos, would leave us pennyless to go an buy the god dam double A batteries; appoligies for the terrible over spending example.

Of course the credit crunch has lead to slowing of stock rates causing business to loose profit, which in turn leads to job cuts and losses… well I’d say that is bloody awful! So now there are more hobo’s than there are cardboard boxes!

The worse news is, that gorvernment officials say that job loses are exptected to increase dramatically by this time next year; my responce to that is, well Mr Brown (you over paid, under shagged flid) job losses will have hopefully increased by at least one next year.

Though of the day #2

Why is so that some people believe it best to not get along with their fellow man. Instead of being willing to let minor imperfections go by the by they take them as extremities and go on to blow them out of proportion.
In simple moronic terms; one dude does something to slightly upset another dude and dude number two takes it too far.
What my point is if they had an IQ between them they would think that it would wise to get the hell on with shit, like shagging sheep… :/

Thoughs of the day #1

Ahh yes some times it can be simply too hard for my explosive mind to think of a full on rant about even the smallest subjects such as, if a bird was to shit on my head if I was only walking around the back yard like a little loner (dam those mofoing pigeons… go to Russia or Cyberia and freeze your little ticks off).

Well anyway without letting this turn in to a rant of its own, I shall get on with my sudden though of the day..:

“Hmmm, a wise old git once said that money was hard to come by, but ever so fucking easy to spend (with the whole beard feeling thing)” which is right in some aspects, but these days there is just shit all in the shops! Having been out on a mission to spend some dosh I find the only thing even possibly worth buying is a big issue… but only because the guy selling it is singing, “Big big issue man” in a slightly wank Caribbean voice, when he is actually just some homeless DUDE who wants some floating cash to get his next fix… I mean come on you thick swine, how dumb do you think I am?Sod off!

They all need a bloody good Glasgow kiss.

Text language bruv!

Wuu2? Wbu? Brb, yh, ily, lmao and FUCKING LOL !!!! Yes I am obviously talking about short hand text. Above were all examples of what you might say if your were in a rush when on IM or texting with a letter count limit, but some people confuse these fucking situations with real life speach during human to human conversation.
I’m sure that if someone walked up to you in public and said W U U 2 (just letters and numbers) then you obviously say to yourself and those directly around you, “What the fuck is wrong with this retarded hobo who has just aproached me and started talking in single silabolic, clunge muscle terms?” “Bitch get out of my face and my personal space, please go and moan like this on facebook, where nobody really gives a toss about what you have to say, involving what you did in the last five minutes since licking your mums pussy!” (Believe it or not this actually what a person like me would say)
When the English dictionary was published, stating how words and phrases should be spelt and punctuated, believe it or fucking not…… THEY FUCKING MENT IT! So please don’t waste some poor fucker at COLLIN’s (dictionary publisher) time, speek the queen’s language… Who knows, it might do a thing or two for your patriotism! Fuck nuts!
One other thing that you should also refrain from doing, seems as I am in a hypocritical mood, is to stop sending people random, open ended, silly little fucking text messages.
Example:
Hey wuu2.
\\\correspondance\\\ “What the fuck?! If I wanted you to know what I was doing then I would ring you the fuck up and say ‘hey bitch! I’m on the throne, but I’m actually BEATING ONE OUT!!’ You happy now you lonely twat? Yes?… Well fuck off.”

Example 2:
Hey how are you?
\\\corespondance\\\ I’m dead, what the fuck do you think?? If I constantly wanted you to know how I am then I’m sure that I would of set up a fucking wardens cord by now, that I could pull ever five minutes to make you aware that I am feeling just as good in health as I was thirty fucking seconds ago. Are you questioning my integraty and ability to monitor my own physical and mental health? No?… Well once again… Fuck the hell off!!

These examples could go on for as long as there is a hole in my ass! So I think I will end there. These sort of kunt strummers need speech theropy, but if you ask me I just think that they are socialy disturbed mother fuckers and just need slamming in a sex offenders pen!!
Amen!!
🙂